My pregnancy was an unplanned pregnancy. I was date raped at the age of twenty eight.
I was not sexually active at the time so I hoped and prayed that I was not pregnant.
I couldn’t have a child. I was single and wasn’t capable of looking after a child. I had not planned on becoming a mother, ever. I prayed every night for my menstrual cycle to start. I was depressed and so very, very scared. My fear intensified every day.
About a week after I was supposed to get my period I made an appointment to see a doctor. Secretly I was hoping I had cancer and that I was not pregnant. I thought that would be a better option for me. I had told no one of my circumstances or what had happened to me six weeks prior.
The day of my doctor’s appointment I walked into his office absolutely terrified of what I was going to find out. Was I pregnant?
I told the doctor I thought I had cancer because I had missed my period. He said we’d do a urine test to rule out pregnancy first.
The result came back positive.
I was so overwhelmed by emotions that I started crying when he gave me the news. I felt like I was in a whirlpool being sucked under, I was gasping for air trying to breathe. After the initial shock I managed to pull myself together only to be given information on abortion.
Without asking any questions about my intentions he just gave me the pamphlet on abortion and basically dismissed me. I felt like I was walking down a hallway with the sound of my footsteps the only thing I could hear. I guess that was my heart beating in my chest.
I went home and crawled straight into bed where I stayed until the following day. What was I going to do? How was I going to proceed? What was I going to tell everyone? Why me? During the night I found myself stroking my belly and picturing the growing baby inside of me. I thought about my baby’s conception and the difficulty in bringing up a child on my own.
The baby inside of me was innocent. He deserved to live.
I began to see my child as a gift from God and God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. I never wanted to have children, that path was not for me. I could barely look after myself let alone looking after a baby. The responsibility was enormous. Yet here I was.
I rang my mother to tell her I was pregnant and she asked me if I was going to keep the baby. I had so many obstacles to overcome. I was so scared of what the future would hold. It was going to be difficult and many challenges were in my way. I told my mother I was keeping the baby and she thought I was making a mistake. How was I going to provide for a child?
Three years earlier I had found Jesus Christ and I believed that God would be right by my side. Nine months later I had a beautiful son. My son is twenty-six now and I wouldn’t change anything.
It was a struggle and we went through some difficult times but it was worth every pain we endured. I am also a proud grandmother. If I had chosen to abort my baby I would of missed out on the unconditional love between my child and myself. I love my son with all my heart and I have been blessed with a grandchild.
Abortion is never a good option.