Dear Michelle,
I just want to say that I’m sorry for your loss… and I’m sorry that you probably won’t see it as one.
I’m sorry that you couldn’t see your baby as worth the sacrifice, worth the chance, worth the challenge, worth life. I’m sorry that you couldn’t see your baby as a person worthy of unconditional love, a person with inherent value, a person of upmost dignity. Perhaps you haven’t seen yourself that way, and I think sometimes we accept for others what we’d accept for ourselves.
For that, I’m sorry.
The truth is that your child was, just as you are now, a unique, unrepeatable and irreplaceable person. But we live in a world that’s forgotten that, and so you forgot it too.
I’m sorry for your child. I’m sorry that the world misses out on the gift of your baby – a child whose heart beat at 5 weeks, whose fingerprints formed at 16 weeks, who responded to your voice at 25 weeks.
I’m sorry that you won’t be able to nurture that baby, teach them, mould them, share with them with yourself. I’m sorry for the child in your womb now that goes without a sibling.
I’m sorry for the pain that this will cause you, I’m sorry that this is the one choice you can’t take back.
I’m sorry that we live in a time where our fertility gets treated as a disease and our children as burdens. I’m sorry that we live in a culture that lies to us: that women are at their best when they’re most like men. That empowerment only comes after the rejection of our identity. That material success is more fulfilling and worthwhile than life itself. That pregnancy is a violation. That someone has dignity only when they’re wanted and convenient. That motherhood is limiting, inconvenient, and disempowering. That abortion is an un-harmful, compassionate solution to unplanned or unwanted pregnancy.
Michelle – they’re not true. Your femininity is a gift. Your femininity is needed, it is important, it is invaluable, it is influential. Your womanhood is powerful not in spite of your capacity for new life, but because of it. Fulfilment, happiness and purpose is attained when we make a gift of ourselves – when we love without conditions, when we put someone else’s needs before our own. Real love is what we’re made for and we’ll always be restless without it. Human life, at every stage, is precious and worthy of protection. Abortion is dehumanising and enslaving and you and your child deserved better.
I’m sorry if you’ve felt invisible, unimportant, non-influential, in a world that you feel “looks so much like [men]”. I’m sorry that promoting the intentional killing of babies is the way you feel seen, recognised, heard, powerful. I’m sorry that this is what it takes for you to feel emboldened and in charge of your life. I’m sorry that you don’t see how dignified and valuable you are before you even blink.
Michelle, I don’t know whether or not you’ll see clearly the reality of your choice. But if one day you realise, and you grieve and you mourn your baby, please know this: that there is hope for you. Healing is possible and mercy is always accessible. You were made good and nothing will change that.
And if that never happens, if you’re never able to recognise the humanity of your child now lost, I’m sorry that you remain in the dark, I’m sorry that you live without truth.
I wish you hope, healing and love,
Marie
Hurting after abortion? There is help available for you. Go to www.LifeChoice.org.au/Postabortion for more information.